This entire on campus vs. off campus shit is so fraught with uncertainties, that it's so not fucking funny. What am I supposed to do?!

Isn't it terribly inconvenient if I rent a room AND live on campus, and then moving back and forth between the 2 of them? It doesn't make any financial sense either, unless the rented room is like 5 minutes away from NTU. Obviously I found one that's 5 minutes away, but so have other people and I think they've been trying to get in touch with the advertiser. I can only deduce that they have failed to do so, because the advertisement is still on, otherwise, it won't be there if its been rented out.

And then I've also found another one who's responded to me very quickly, but its half an hour away from NTU. That's quite...long, isn't it? Aaaargh. I hate this. Maybe I should just forget about living on campus and rent a room entirely. I mean, I haven't paid the hostel fees yet, so technically they can't sue me or anything right? But 30 minutes is sort of far isn't it? Their profile seems pretty decent too. There are 3 people living in the 3 room flat now, but one is shifting out and they need a flatmate. Plus, they're NTU students as well. When I tearfully relayed my situation to him, he says it's better if I choose one instead of having both, because it'll be terrible inconvenient if I stay in a dorm one day, and back to a room the other day.

Why is my life so fraught with complications?

So that's three mitigating factors - inconvenience, instability of study environment and distance.

I texted K as well. Maybe K can offer me some much needed advice. K's helped me see things s lot clearer whenever I come crying (literally) for help.

Why couldn't NTU have offered single dorms for freshmen! So this is why freshmen are guaranteed a spot to stay on campus. They make us share a room. Crafty bitches.

I wish my mum were heeeeeere! Why is it that she's always out when I'm in the middle of something as big and mentally distressing as this? Life is completely unfair. I've sent an email to an ex-teacher of mine, seeking advice. Maybe I should send it to another few teachers and gather their opinions and counsel me on my nerve-wrecked situation. I'm going to hound my mother about this when she gets back. She's off at the brother's school for her parent volunteer work. WAIT. I'll text her now. HAH.

Dad says it'll be good to stay on campus and make social connections, but when I spoke to K two nights ago, K said to get my priorities right.

Mum called back. I don't think she understands my perspective on the "moving from dorm to rented room" situation. I think we want the best of both worlds, but the problem is that I'm the one taking the risk. Not her.

Like I said, why is my life so fraught with complications? Right now, the only solution out of this mess would be to have the rooms be too far away, or with dratty landlords for me to have no choice but to resign to my fate to have to live in a dorm and slug it out.

But I can never slug it out! I need my own personal space! OH MY GOD WHY AM I SUCH A DICKIE BIRD RIGHT NOW? Okay I need to stop checking the site for updates on room rentals. I collaborated with someone who'll be an exchange student in NTU for the next 6 months. Apparently he's looking for a place to stay and we've sort of agreed to keep a lookout for one another.

Oh and I just watched the latest X-Men on Mum's laptop. Friggin awesome! Now I know why Professor X is crippled. And Magneto was HOT when he was a young man. And now I know why Hank McCoy is all big and blue and covered with hair. But I wonder whatever happened to the rest of the mutants who were with Professor X and Magneto. Like Alex, who can create these red fiery waves, or Angel - the girl with the wings - or the one who can scream and fly. Basically, they were the first mutants to be recruited by Magneto and Professor X before Magneto had Charles become a handicapped man, and decided that he and Charles wanted different goals for the race of mutants.

Okay Mum has texted back to say she'll look at her map to see of the half an hour place is too far or not. Like I said, maybe what's best is that it turns out to be unsuitable. I seriously don't know. This is something that for once, I say I cannot control, even though I want to. Why, because I don't have a friggin clue what to do.

What was I saying? Oh. So. Yeah X Men: First Class was awesome. Much better than X Men: Origins. I don't care if Wolverine has a psychotic brother. Its weird to see James McAvoy play Charles Xavier in the movie, because I'm half expecting the camera to pan downwards and I'll end up seeing a pair of hoofs instead of feet, and with him clutching a frilly umbrella and offering to take me for tea in his abode and end up putting me to sleep with his Duduk and waking up only to find out he ratted me out to the Witch of Narnia.

Anyhow, I like it when he says the word "sexy". Shiver me timbers. I'm going to imdb.com to see who plays Eric/Magneto. I bet you my savings he isn't American Caucasian. He's definetely European Caucasian. He has European features. I should know. I've spent 6 years of my life looking at good looking European men to be able to differentiate between Americans and Europeans. Plus, Sebastian Shaw looks strangely like that the actor who played Hollow Man, the movie where this whacko scientist creates some sort of a serum to make things invisible and so he injects it into himself when some major company refuses to buy it and goes around killing people like he's wearing an Invisibility Cloak. Only he has no wand. But he did lock down the entire facility and killed his colleagues with his bare hands who helped him develop the serum. I watched it when I was probably 12 and it gave me nightmares for weeks, because I kept hallucinating that there's an invisible man in my room. And Moira McTaggert, the CIA agent who helps Professor X looks just like Briseis, who plays sexy Brad Pitt's lover in Troy. I can't be sure. As I was watching this, Mum kept asking why I keep shrieking at the most sporadic periods of time.

S: Because someone wants to kill the X-Men! What's wrong with you, Ma?

M: Who wants to kill the X-Men?

S: The bad guy! Duh!

M: Who's the bad guy?

S: Hollow Man!

M: You mean the invisible guy?

S: Yes

M: How do you its him if he's invisible?

Why does my mum go wacko at the most sporadic times?

I must say its terribly uncomfortable typing on my Mum's Macbook. There aren't those 2 left and right buttons near the mousepad.

Ooh I was right. Kevin Bacon plays the bad guy. And Rose Bryne plays Moira. It says here that Taylor Lautner was originally cast as Hank McCoy / Beast but dropped out due to scheduling conflicts. It would have been fun to see him as a blue furry beast. He's played a werewolf so he should feel right at home. Ooh and Michael Fassbender plays Eric/Magneto. I knew it. He's German! Well Germa-Irish. But he's hot.

I think I've finally found out where my obsession of Caucasian people come from. My dad. We were discussing this accommodation situation (though he doesn't know the full extent of my anxiety) and how he did really well in the Canadian University he went to despite living with a roommate for 3 years, so if he can do it, I can do it. Then he went to describe the university he went to and said that it was in Canada that he met his first "woman I got involved with". According to my dad, my mum's the 4th woman he's gotten involved with.

So he went on to tell me about how his first girlfriend was a Hungarian girl called Agness Kiss, and how he got into "an international love triangle" (his phrase, not mine) with another Greek guy who also had the hots for her. Turns out she went out with this Greek guy first, but ditched him for my dad and then the Greek guy started stalking them on their dates til my dad threatened to hit him if he continued following them around, because he was assigned to the commando unit or something when he was in National Service.

D: We were in this international love triangle. A Chinese guy, a Greek guy and a Hungarian girl. Initially, she liked him, but then she went with me and he started following us everywhere until I said not to play around with us because I was trained as a commando when I did my military training in Singapore."

S: So, she liked the Greek guy, and ditched him for you?

D: Yeah.

S: You mean like how Lily actually liked Snape, but then found out what a toadie he was before deciding to go out with James Potter?

D: What?

S: Erm, never mind.

Why am I such a psycho?

Exactly 19 more days until I become a university student. I'm filled with a mixture of vast excitement and equal amounts of nervousness and worry.