Was so screwed yesterday. I completely zoned out in Gin's class. I couldn't catch the choreography one bit!

Okay that was a lie. I mean I caught most of it. But I had no idea why I couldn't execute the moves smoothly and with swag. I couldn't move properly, like I had rabies or something. I looked so really stiff. I have no idea how to get over my stiffness. The weird thing is that when I go home, I can do it right because I felt so much more at ease. 

I think I can dance better without wearing shoes. 

Am wondering if I should go for Fredy and Carol's classes today again. Yesterday's class left me so disgruntled and pissed at myself. I know I need to improve. I've been going for classes for almost a year but I'm still friggin stuck. Then I recalled Kesh telling me that to improve, you need to go for competitions and performances and really train. Unfortunately, I don't have that luxury. Man, it sucks when your can't fulfill your passions. 

I do love dance. I go crazy in my room. I'm your classic bedroom dancer, but when I go for lessons, I clam up. I look stiff, like a robot I try to relax. But it looks weird. I need a dance wardrobe makeover. If I feel the part, I do the part baby. 

I don't really know what to do right now. When I dance, my upper body feels really heavy. My shoulder stiffen. WHY SHOULDERS, WHY DO YOU STIFFEN? YOU NEED TO RELAX. But when I relax, my neck becomes really sore. 

Why am I such, a freaking zombie? If I carry on like this, how am I going to keep up with the awesome dance classes I want to take in DRDS in LA?!

I need a divine intervention. Starting with my shoulders. I need a smaller chest. Not that I have big boobs. But I just have a wide upper body. I realized that having upper body strength gives me the advantage in various movements, like reggae and stuff. But for intricate movements in hip hop, I feel that my body is too bulky. 

Fo shiz.