I'm confused.

Does being a member of the gym give one the liberty to be able to strip in front of other women inside the changing room?

I suppose this rule applies to women with fit bodies. Throughout these past few days at the female chugging room in the gym, I've seen a couple of fit women literally strip off their top and bras and walking around the changing room like a boss. I can't say I blame them. You'd feel totally good about yourself if you're rocking a pair of tights abs like them. I mean. DAMN. I've seen pictures of women with abs. But I've never actually met real women with real abs standing right next to me. Without their shirt.

And bra.

Today I made the mistake of going for Sh'Bam after Body Attack. I mean Body Attack is a killer already. If you don't what BodyAttack is, its basically high impact cardio. Its exactly the kind of aerobics that I did whilst in Flinders. Its completely crazy, but it gets my blood and heart pumping with the constant moving and all, because I crave movement. Anyway I decided to stay for Sh' Bam after aerobics, which according to my mum, is like a dance-aerobics combo. One of the many variations of dance fitness classes , like Zumba, only with more simple choreography and more aerobics instead.

So basically, I had no energy to Sh'Bam. I mean. I couldn't raise my friggin legs for those kicks he wanted us to do. I only managed a feeble shuffle of my feet and a half hearted attempt at arm swings by waving my hands. I was that slammed. I kept staring at the clock and literally wanted to scream in dismay. The clock was so friggin slow that afternoon, and why is this song so long?! And why does the instructor use remix of cool songs like Judas and On the Floor? Its unethical to use remixes done by popstar wannabes with streaky voices.

Anyway, I left with 10 minutes to go. I just couldn't muster the energy. The instructor for BodyAttack also stayed for Sh'Bam. But he seemed to be enjoying it, though he too moved much slower and all. Can't say I blamed him. Going for two high impact aerobic classes back to back is not the same as going for 2 dance classes at O School one after the other. The latter, I can handle. The former? Not so much. Was so hungry. I ended up stuffing my face when got home.

I seriously need to structure my eating plans and make sure I don't take a class that coincides with lunch/dinner hours. Went on the treadmill again to relieve my guilt.

Anyway, so there I was, stumbling, or rather, crawling back to the changing room to get out of my gym clothes. Then I went to the huge double mirrors to reapply for sunblock and all, when this woman comes strutting up to the mirror on my right and removed her top.

So that's normal anyway. Its a gym for Christ's sake. People walk around shirtless. Even women who feel confident about walking around with just a bra top and shorts so I wasn't bothered much by it. Then all of a sudden without any warning and to my utter horror, she reached behind her back and unhooked her bra. Right in front of the mirror. With me next to it. Bare torso, naked breasts and all.

And I'm like,

0_-

Seriously. I kinda squinted my right eye just a teeny bit and kept my left eye wide open so I could still see myself, because if I opened both eyes, I'd be able to see her bare chest from my right peripheral vision.

Okay I'm a prude. So sue me.

I'm sorry but I seriously don't know what the social protocol is here! Do I stare at the twins? Do I walk away? Do I go up to her and say hey "nice nipples babe!"? Do I take a picture? WHAT?!

So this is where informational social influence comes in. All the other women in the changing room seem unpertubed by it. Like they see the naked breasts of other women everyday so another breast in front of them is no biggie. So I just decided to act normal and carry out with putting my face on. I'm sorry but its still unsettling to see another set of foreign breasts, other than my own when I'm changing and am in the shower, staring right at me in the mirror.

Then again, she must be pretty damn proud of her body. She's really toned so she's probably thinking "hey y'all come check out my gym-toned body!" Then flashes her abs. And breasts.

I wonder if this is part of my transition to adulthood. Getting comfortable with seeing the breasts of other women in gm changing rooms. Like some sort of a rite of passage to enter womanhood.

One other thing that I seriously am unable to understand is this whole app on Facebook where people sort of want to invite you to be part of a school yearbook. I've had invites from friends from my old secondary school inviting me to be part of the Hougang Secondary Alumni. And I sort of deleted them. Seriously, why the hell, do I want to be associated with school anymore?

I do not want people to know that I actually studied in that shit of a school, not do I wish to be reminded that I am part of their history. It's a crap ass school, let me tell you. This is my self serving bias coming up. I have no intention of being associated with a school that gave me miserable memories. Secondary school kids are vicious. Them minors are pigs. Okay not all minors are asses, since I was a minor once and I certainly wasn't as mean and cruel as some secondary school kids, going around bullying and taunting people and shit.

Life's a mess.

I want to write a book. I'm going to call it High School Dilemmas: Why Secondary School Children are Vicious and How Can Punish Them When You're Older


So there. And the first people whom I'm going to give the book to, is all the stupid boys who bullied me when I was in secondary 1, all because I happened to be stuck in the boys corner. Calling me names, deliberately tripping over my school bag, stealing my pens and pencils and shit.

Asses.