Just when I was getting OVER you, YOU come waltzing back into my life and opening a floodgate of memories.

Either God is mocking or testing the shit out of me. I swear, this isn't funny.

Been a tiring week. My mind is currently a stressful place to be in.

Today marks the closure of the the Graduation Day performance. Apparently the management & the audience weren't amused by our routine so they replaced our item with a singer. Was supposed to be replacing Nic because she couldn't make it, so now it looks like I won't need to anymore. Moreover, I won't be attending the DHL ceremony.

Been staying up til 3am to complete Criminal Psych report.Last Sunday I stayed up til 4am, awoke at 9am and starting feeling dizzy and developed a migraine on Monday. And performance was on Tuesday. We did 3 shows, and apparently our last evening show was probably the best.

And considering today's turn of events, I'm feeling kind of lost right now, and lonely all of a sudden. Watched videos of O School open classes and realized that I actually suck and need to improve. But am do darn busy with work. Plus my dad wants me to focus on studies right now.

Am wondering what I should do tomorrow. So tired. And confused.

It's 3.50am right now. I am very tired. My eyes are threatening to crash down and send my brain into the depths of oblivion. I spent the last few hours struggling to do Criminal Psych report. Still bummed out at the fact that I'm not discussing any new theories. I'm only mentioning the social learning theory - old school - and I'm bloody well hoping that its suffiicient Or I will SHOOT myself. I would have liked to talk about new theories that we learnt, such as Differential Association, but the more I analyzed it, the more it didn't quite fit into my beliefs as to how criminals are made.

Bought boots on Thursday for Broadway. Doesn't fit me very well but I padded it out with socks and it fits all right so that's it settled.

Came across this whilst youtube-surfing and am positively in AWE at the brilliance and coherence of them:




Popping looks fun. It reminds me of dislocating bones and fixing them back together. Besides, I think good looking guys who dance are sexy, because they know who to move their bodies and its very appealing.

I've abandoned my piano "for the moment". Been so caught up that I barely have the energy to drag myself to the piano and employ cerebral glucose to decipher the symbols on the piano sheets. So much for my grand plans to play pieces from Pirates of the Caribbean.

I'm beginning to suspect that my performance in Year 3 will affect my very enormous dreams of going to the United States to study and work. My report for Criminal Psych alone is giving me the impression that the holidays has resulted in apoptosis ( i actually learnt something from BioPsych - its the destruction of brain cells) and its imposing debilitating effects on my overall well being. I've not touched a single application journal for Human Factors, nor commenced on the case study for Addictive Behaviors.

Something has GOT to give.

Aaaargh. Bobby is sleeping at my feet and is emanating his wet dog smell. Comforting yet discomforting at the same time. I've exceeded the word limit for Criminal Psych report. ASS. I HATE word limits!

Oh sod it. I'm going to bed.


( and I think I've finally freed myself from the likes of you )

Okay.

I've got to get homework done by next week because I'll be busy due to the whole Graduation Day performance - 11 shows over 4 days so it's going to be quite a big deal. Plus, I've yet to source my costumes! Black leggings are easy to get. But where in the world am I to get pointy black boots!

Thought I could go for Bryan's class tomorrow, but bearing in mind the amount of work to be done and sourcing for costumes, since I don't want to buy them next week, I'll probably have to NOT go AGAIN.I miss doing street jazz classes and I do want to improve, but at this rate with all the unexpected clashes and timings? So NOT ideal.

I decided to run through Bryan's Beautiful Dirty Rich routine before I bathed and was amazed at howmuch easier it is now. I think I can't move as much I can in dance attire as compared to alight tee and shorts. My sweatpants are relatively heavy and my dance short is relatively thick.

GRRRR. I KNOW I CAN DANCE.BUT MITIGATING FACTORS LIKE CLOTHES AND TIME AND SCHOOL RESTRICT ME FROM DANCING AND IMPROVING.

Costume fitting at 9am tomorrow. BUGGER. Plus,I gotta double check the figures for CCN Day and make sure they tabulate.

I am very tired now. I want to sleep. But my hair is still wet. I do not believe in using a hairdryer. I need sleep. I've been yawning for 6 yawns per minute. I wan t to sleep. AAAAARGH. Why must school start at 9am for me everyday?

Homework consists of:

- "Are criminals born or made?"
- ProfComm memo
- HF Application journals

This is a very appealing image.

I was looking up baby names on the Internet not too long ago. I wonder what myy future husband will say if I plan on naming a potential daughter "Esmeralda Esperanza" I hope she gets my recessive gene, representative of curly hair.

Am attempting to watch Speed and figure out which topic to write for ProfComm's assignment on writing a memo. I'm so easily distracted. Maybe I have an unexpressed dormant variant of ADHD.

Exceptional Child tutorial was very unconventional today. Khy conducted it in the library and we had to sift through books on exceptionalitites in children and figure out what a subject in a case study is suffering from. Interesting.

Dance or studies, that is the question. I've not been dancing for quite some time and I'm feeling weird. Guilty for not training. Feel like going home after tutorial ends at 4 tomorrow and not go for dance class. Bugger.

Deciding between the 2 drains mental energy in me. I should invest in burners and essential oils to soothe my frazzled nerves.

I downloaded The Matrix screensaver onto my laptop! Welcome to the real world, Serene. Are you ready to find out what The Matrix is?

I was just reading through The Psychology of Criminal Conduct and its utterly dry and pretty tough to read. Intricate use of language and gets rather confusing after reading each sentence.

"Are criminals born or made? Discuss"

Clearly I need to understand some theories to back my claims. After flipping through the text it dawned on me that my language skills need some major facelifts. Maybe there's a writing course I can take to improve my essay & vocabulary skills.

Star Movies was showing the very first episode of the very first season of Glee and I'm definitely wanting to catch more of it. A must watch. Dad asked me to watch The Fourth Kind, but I haven't gotten round to it. Mila Jovovich from the Resident Evil franchise is in it,but it's a scary movie and I refuse to watch it at night, owing to my overactive imagination. When I was 12, Aliens Ressurection was showing on Channel 5; it was midnight and everyone but my mum was watching it and I foolishly joined her and after watching the alienoid swim in the water, I got so freaked out. I didn't want to sleep because I was afraid I'd wake up in the middle of the night and find one standing at my bedside waiting to rip me apart.So then I begged my mum to let me stay up with her but she refused because it was a school night. I don't really remember how I got past the night.

Oh and I was scared of lightning when I was little too. Once I was in the kitchen watching my mum bringing in the bamboo poles because it was going to rain and lightning struck and I screamed and ran out the kitchen and hid under the marble table and refused to come out. I only agreed to crawl out because my mum had said she'll ask the Rain Man to lower the volume of the thunder.

Memories. I miss my childhood. I think. I mean at least I didn't have any self esteem problems when I was little.

Okay so back to Glee. So I watched that episode and decided to practice my piano. I moved on to scales and its really a bit of a blur to me. Like when do you know if its time to switch fingers, and how do you know which finger you should switch to? I cannot really "read" the notes. I have to assign the alphabets to them before I can really play them. I mean I can, but it takes longer.

I can play Mary Had a Little Lamb, Row the Boat and Are You Sleeping on both hands. I tried playing I Had a Dream, by Abba but it sounds weird when I combine it with both hands. It sounds better on one hand. Cannot wait til I can master it, THEN I can play this:



This is just the most beautiful piece of score ever created in the history of movie entertainment. Hans Zimmer is just a bloody genius.