I want a little something more
Don't want the middle or the one before
I don't desire a complicated past
I want a love that will last

- Renee Olstead - A Love That Will Last -






- the road to success is always under construction -

I hate PerCog journals.

HAPPY 18TH JIA =)

Relatives came over today for tea. Bobby is frightened by my youngest cousin. My dad said that once she beat him. Now he's traumatized. He attempted to dig and scurry his way into the small cupboard where we stored the rice and cookers and refused to come out.

Mum had to remove all the stuff inside to get him out. I put him in my room til they left.

Am sick. Have a flu. And now I can't savour the sweet of the chocolate of Ferrero Rocher.

Bugger

Tom Cruise. Looks g-o-r-g-e-o-u-s in this photo of the premiere of Valkyrie.

To find your natural face shape, stand in front of your mirror with your hair pulled back. Close one eye, and with a non-permanent marker or eyeliner,

trace your face shape onto the mirror.

The centre parting is most suited for an oval shaped face
and gives an oval illusion to wide and round faces.
Those with prominent noses and oblong faces should
avoid centre partings.

The side partings is most suitable for most face shapes for it is

flattering and versatile, particularly to round and square shaped faces that

need height on top, as well as well as heart-shaped faces to

decrease width of the forehead.

Right, so my face is oval shaped and my natural parting is centre.

I knew it.

My Spanish teacher made me sit next to a guy during class, since we need

partners to practice our sentences and try out new phrases. I was

kinda embarrassed with sitting next to a guy, but he was nice and smiled a lot,

and made conversation with me and with his friends as well so I guess it made

me feel at ease. I forgot his name though, coz it's a Chinese name.

Scenario One:

I was at AMK Hub when I saw this guy with his parents. Chinese mother, American dad.

And what do you get? A gorgeous son. I swear to God he was so darn good looking.

Sure he has some Chinese features BUT that long chin, that pointy nose AND those eyes.

Those BLUE eyes. Gorgeous and enchanting

They were so enticing and I kept looking at it. But I quickly looked away

after a while in case he thought I'm some kinda female perv.

Scenario 2:

I was on the train and at Newton, in walked this Caucasian girl and

with Asian girlfriend. The Caucasian girl talked. Amercian accent.

No biggie. Asian girl opened her mouth.

Different story.

An Asian girl, speaking with an American accent.

An Asian blooded girl, americanized by the Western cultures of her

home country.

I swear, she sounds exactly like Miley Cyrus. Husky voice with a bit if Western drawl. My god and they both spoke so loudly. Everyone was like looking their way, wondering how come an Asian girl, Korean I think, speaks with an American accent.

Damn. I wanna be Americanized too.

Scenario 3:

Walking along North Bridge Road and saw this stall selling scarves near Peninsula Plaza so I looked around. Stall was mended by

2 Chinese nationals. I decided to buy a blue shawl and

gave it to one of the women so she could get me a new piece.

She spoke to me in Mandarin, saying she would fetch me a

new piece and that it cost $8. I understood and nodded.

THEN. The other woman-shop-keeper walked up to me and said

in English " She said she will get you a new one. And this one costs $8"

For proof, she showed out 8 fingers and pointed to the "Sale" sign

that displayed the cost price.

Thanks, lady. I understood what she said.

Went to pay for my scarf and the first woman spoke in Mandarin ( of which I shall translate in English) : " This girl speak no Mandarin. Can totally tell.

She must only know 1 language. How deprived!" Then they both

starting laughing.

I felt like picking up the cash register and smashing it against

her ugly bitch face. Deprived am I? Lady, I can speak Spanish and French.

Can you? Huh? Huh? Do I LOOK like I can't speak "your language"?

Seriously, all these Chinese nationals, especially women like her,

make me sick.

So I/O presentation, French and APIP critique are done! Hoozah!

Now there's Physio Psych presentation and I/O report left.

Nette gave me a jade key chain before lecture started =) I tried posting the photo

I took of it up here, but my phone couldn't be read. Bugger.

Thanks Lynette x)

APIP critique went all right I think. Although I wasn't sure if I wrote enough.

I/O presentation was okay too, but I was damn nervous before Nette, Jess

& I presented, since I was the very first speaker.

My heart was seriously pounding like crazy.

Then after that went to rehearse French with MHD. I

He's going to Cape Town in Africa during the holidays! At first I didn't believe him due

to one little tiny prank he pulled on me that made me be aware of whatever

nonsense he sprouts, but he was so serious throughout his explanation

that I guess it must be real

MHD forgot his lines by the way and the tutor thought I said one English word.

BUT I DID NOT.

Apparently "un moment", sounded like "one moment". Bugger.

But she said we both did good. Oh and she commented on my earrings. She went something like:

"Aiyah, Seir-crine, your earring zees so beeg, darling. Veir-rie nice."

x)

I'm still looking for bigger ones though. I found out that Arab Street is near Raffles

Hospital at Bugis, when I studied the map MHD lent me. And the Mexican Embassy in

Singapore is just across Arab Street as well.

BIG EARRINGS HERE I COME X)

I shall now watch Tears of the Sun to treat myself to some entertainment after a long and tiring day of presentations and adrenaline turnover.

Tomorrow. I/O presentation. French Role Play.

I/O should be okay. But FRENCH. MHD apparently still has trouble with the lines. GOD PLEASE GIVE US THE STRENGTH TO LET THINGS FLOW SMOOTHLY FOR ME TOMORROW.

Took the same bus with Nette today and we had a talk about said relationship with my mother. I think she's really lucky to have a mother whom she can talk to at any point of time w/o feeling embarrassed or anything.

I'm jealous.

Conversation I had with my chereographer after dance:

Serene: Where do I buy the veil from?
Teacher: Oh okay you can find it at the street stalls. You been to Chinatown?
Serene: Nope.
Teacher: Arab Stret?
Serene: Nope
Teacher: Little India?
Serene: Nope.
Teacher: Are you Singaporean?

Then everyone in the dance room bursts into peals of giggles and I'm like +_+

I fully intend to go to Little India to purchase essential oils for the hair, and to Arab Street to buy accessories. Chinatown? To buy, erm..

?

Never mind.

I shall now rehearse through my I/O presentation slides and my French role play script for tomorrow. I'm gonna be a tourist, looking for the museum who stops to ask a student from TP directions.

I am sorely tempted to watch Tears of the Sun right now. But. No. Stop. Publish post. Stop blogging. Get offline. Stop. Go. Now. Serene.

Bye.

Wait.

Dedicated to Poh Shu Yun:

Now hush little baby, don't you cry.
Everything's gonna be alright.
Stiffen that upper lip up little lady
I told ya Serene's here to hold ya through the day.
I know Luck's not here right now and we don't know why
We feel how we feel inside
It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby
But I promise, everything's gon' be alright


Hope you feel better now Shoe =) I'm always here to help, just like when you were my sounding board for maddening times when I was feeling wacky & weird.

just had ANOTHER run in with the mother. Won't go into details because it just makes me cry everytime I think about it

The setting - Home; Serene's room

The theme - Serene attempts to ignore hurtful comments

The plot - Escape the spurs of verbal abuse and insults by keeping quiet, a bad idea.

The resolution - " Sometimes, I think I hate my mother."




Will my poisnous relationship with my mother radiate negative effects on my future parenting skills and the way I bond with my children, should I have any?

One thing for sure: I will NOT let her near my kids, should I be blessed with them, let alone BREATHE near them.

Edited I/O slides today with Nette and Jess & bombarded Mr Wee with so many questions again.

Did this survey on Youths and Relationships during APIP lecture, with questions about interpersonal life with friends, family and romantic partners. I brought 1 set home for my Sis to do and I peeked at her answers.

Both of us feel that our mother does not encourage us to share our thoughts/difficulties, we do not share our difficulties with her, nor do we think that we can rely on her to get a load off our chests.

Why am I not surprised?

I realized from this survey that I do not possess a very healthy and strong relationship with my parents. I do not relay my thoughts and difficulties to them and neither do I feel I can rely on them for emotional support whatsoever, despite being a secure baby 16 years earlier.

Was eating dinner with Sis in the kitchen and I casually brought up the subject of applications to universities & then asked her " Jie, what's your GPA?"

And she looked up at me, her eyes stripped with caution & suspicion and questioned my question. So I was all I heard NTU takes in students with at least GPA 3.0.

Seriously my sister's face turned black and she got all defensive and was like "No la! Sure they take in some with lower that 3.0. I can get in la" And we close the subject.

5 minutes later : " I think I should be able to get in"

... ... ... ... ... ... ...

10 minutes later "Aiyah, think can la"

ha. ha. ha

Wednesday = I/O Psych presentation + French role play.

Bugger.