Been Around the World, by Lisa Stansfield

It is in the darkest of times that we need to truly make an effort to search that shimmer of color and cling on to it.

I've decided to have a blog title be the title of the song that I'm listening to as I'm blogging. Just for quirks and fun, and because I just want to.

Stats test was a complete nightmare. I don't even want to imagine the kind of grade that I will get, because rumination will get me nowhere. Maybe I could have studied harder, maybe I couldn't. Honestly, does it all matter right now? I'm not going to think of how annoyed I felt after spending half a bloody hour a sick game of fucking Sudoku with that factorial design question, only to figure it out at the very last moment, and hearing the shout for us all to stop writing.

Go figure.

Then I had to go ruin my mood even further by relapsing into C&S again. It hurts just to recount this all over again because it makes me sick to my stomach.

Anyway, GSS forms are submitted. There's no backing out, and hopefully, all goes well and I'll be headed to Los Angeles for 6 awesome scrumilicious weeks! Funny how things somehow manage to work out, even though they seem to be falling apart during dismal times when all hope appears to be shattered and when we feel like giving up. Think about it: I've always wanted to go to the States, and now here I have the chance to visit the Land of the American Dream. Although, I'm reconsidering wanting to live there, given my current explicit fears and insecurities about my weight and body. But regardless, I've always wanted to study there and interact with Caucasian students, ever since my dad recounted his days as a college student in Alberta University, and how he says going to the West has really broadened his horizons and made him experience a whole different side of the world.

Cannot wait!

But until then, God, please let me get through the rest of this semester without failing anything or getting any grade that would drive me to suicide. Amen.