"every girl wants a man she can go to in her sweats, hair in a mess, makeup running down her cheeks, eyes red from crying and the first thing he says - and means it - upon seeing her is "Baby you look great and I love you just the way you are"

I watched an episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 on TV today, the couple who has a set of twins and a set of septuplets. So that's 8 kids in all, and it was the episode where they showed footage of their old days - wedding, university, honeymoon.

And I thought Kate looked real beautiful. She had long hair back then and she looked absolutely like an angel. Then Jon, being half Korean looked disturbingly like Kwon Sang Woo, the main actor in Stairway to Heaven. Same face, I swear, except for the body.

Kwon Sang Woo has one of the best bodies I've ever seen. I have a book of photographs I got for my mum for her birthday, full of nothing but photographs of Kwon Sang Woo topless. No shirt. My mum was grinning from ear to ear I swear. One of the best moments I've has with her, come to think about it.

THAT'S KWON SANG WOO WITH NO SHIRT. ZOMG HE HAS A SMOKIN' BODY.

Yeah okay and then the episode basically chronicles their lives together since they met. Really sweet. After that I went to read wedding vows online coz they showed the home video of their wedding and I loved the vows that they said to each other.

Can I just say that wedding vows are SO romantic. Makes people like me go weak in the knees and smile stupidly for like 30 minutes, just picturing themselves reciting the vows. I read this one and instantly fell in love with it, plus I took the liberty of filling in my name

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

"Serene, I love you.

You are my best friend and today, I give myself to you in marriage.

I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle.

I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort.

I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard.

These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life."

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

NOW ISN'T THAT JUST R-O-M-A-N-T-I-C? Ahhhhhh! Then I started thinking of what I want to have at MY wedding. I would want to have lots of flowers, especially tulips. Plus I think I'd prefer a small wedding, so the money we save can be used to spend more days on our honeymoon in....SPAIN. Small wedding = private wedding = romantic wedding. Church weddings are traditional and I find it rather beautiful. Maybe a wedding in the garden wouldn't be that bad.

Did I mention that the wedding has to be in the States?

I watched an episode of Rich Bride Poor Bride, and it seems that the bride has a whole...parade, of bridesmaids decked in the same dress color, which I don't really like. I'll get my close friend to be my bridesmaid. Haha I remember a conversation I had when Nette, Qianhui, Jess & I had while eating lunch and fantasizing our dream weddings, and Nette practically offered, to be my flower girl! Her face was all lit up and nodding excitedly and she was grinning cheekily!

I wouldn't mind if my future husband could sing. I'd like it if he could sing romantic country songs with that Southern drawl. Like country love songs. I like country music. Its fun and you can sing to it coz it has a nice tune and doesn't go too fast or too slow. Then he can write songs about and for me & sing it to me when I'm angry or ovulating. He treats me like I'm perfect but is the more domineering one in the marriage.

Then he'll complain about my being spatially challenged and nag at me for giving him wrong directions in the car. He'll whine about how I can't make up my mind about whether to get the pink or the blue shirt, because both are nice.

I'll complain that he snores at times and it keeps me up at night, nag at his horrible skills at changing diapers, or even putting it the wrong way, scream when he refuses to wash that shirt he wore for the past 2 days. I'll slap his hands for wiping his mouth with his sleevs after eating and his mouth gets dirty, with juice dripping down his pointy chin and smearing his big pointy nose :)

Did I mention that it'd be great if he can cook? He can whip me up dishes of any sort and he'll be nuts about nutrition so I know that I'm not eating too much junk & eating right. He'll teach me how to bake chocolate mint cookies. He'll wrap his arms round my waist as he observes me folding and kneading the dough and adding dollops of mint chocolates to the raw pastry. He'll sing me one of the songs he learnt and charm me off my feet and make me smile, and make me feel that I'm the luckiest girl alive on the planet to have a husband who treats me like I'm perfect
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I think guys wearing cowboy hats, with jeans and a checkered shirt ( rolled up to the elbows please ) and straddling a guitar looks irresistibly sexy and drop dead gorgeous ♥♥♥

It's official. I have lost my confidence in myself, and as well my self esteem again.

I feel like shit man. I mean.
Honestly speaking, I feel as though I've lost faith in God again.
Like.big drip.


Why did He make me this way?
Can't He tell that I'm unhappy at myself?

I realized that I've been crying myself to sleep more often.
Because I feel that I'm such a Damn it. Sometimes, I just want to throw down my cards and give up.



my life sucks. i wish i were different, in the way that i want it to be so i won't get depressed again. it's i'm genetically predisposed to be fat and ugly and freakish.


Went to Borders today to get workbooks for Spanish grammar and verb tenses.
And something happened after that, that made me even more depressed with myself.

Screw it.

I have a confession to make:

I don't like what I see in the mirror everyday.
Sometimes, I try to avoid looking at the mirror.
Clearly it isn't my best friend.

I went online and read about people with low sef esteem and confidence.

I am one of them.

It's not that I think terribly of myself.
Okay.
It IS that I think terribly about myself.
I wish I were prefect.
I hate the current me.
I find it bloody hard to appreciate me,
even after watching those shows where they film people,
with facial deformities, or mental disorders or whatever & technically,
they're worse off than me.

If they can think positive,
how come I can't?

I wish...
I wish...
No.
I want to be.
I want to be.
I want to be.
Perfect.

Hooookay. Just received an email from Miss Street about the details for Global Citizenship. Lectures and tutorials start next week. All I can say is THANK GOD because I was starting wonder which kitchen knife I should use to plunge into my guts just so I can be spared from the hell of boredom and monotony.

9th March (9am) - Lecture and tutorial
10th March (9am) - Lecture and tutorial
11th March (9am) - Lecture and tutorial
12th March (9am) - Lecture and tutorial
16th March - GC Common Test ( hello? Tests? No one MENTIONED anything about
tests!)
19th March - Pre-trip Project Report Submission
23rd March - Pre-trip Project Report Consultation
24th Match - Shu Yu turns 18 ( random, but I just had to out it there, since it’s on my calender)
28th March - Check in at Changi Airport at 9.30pm ( midnight flight to China! WHOO)

29th March to 4th April - WELCOME ME WITH OPEN ARMS, CHINA
8th April - Trip report submission
13th April - Post-trip Project consultation
16th April - Project presentation

I am still disturbed by the fact that there are tests. WHY? It is the holidays. One should be spared from the drudgery of having to endure horrid studying and tests after having been through immense potentiation of studying for finals. I can still remember stuff from I/O. Hersey ( NOT Hershey’s! I wrote that in the exam) and Blanchard’s leadership model, stages of group forming, equity theory of motivation. Right

Well. For starters, having faced much psychological disturbance for the past 10 years, I feel I’m a qualified authority on this subject to raise my point of view on tests.

Pressure is part and parcel of examinations and is detrimental to the mental and physical health of a student. For example, stress, falling sick, HAIR LOSS and others. This can lead to breakdowns and even suicidal thoughts and furthermore, parents and teachers are somehow, extremely gifted in reminding us students of the consequences of failure, or not meeting expectations, thereby elevating the amount of pressure imposed on our already burdened shoulders.

But hello, the education system doesn’t give a rat’s butt about what WE go through. Lee Hsien Loong’s awesome rally on Teach Less, Learn More is all talk and no action. Please.

Plus, I looked through the list of possible topics for the project and hello, I almost died right there and then. Now I know what they mean by culture shock.

Business and Entrepreneurship. Politics and Government. Environment. Geography. Peace and Conflict. Economics. All so….non psychology =/

Politics bore me. I’m not really interested in the urban landscapes of China, I’m not exactly into power, greed and corruption happening in said country. Though I probably could talk about environmental hazards in China and how it can affect transportation and landscape there.

I shall worry about project topic selections later. I watched another movie this morning. Independence Day. Starring the ever awesome and good looking and suave Will Smith, alongside Bill Pullman and Jeff Goldberg.

Aliens planning to take over the Earth by wiping out our natural resources and annihilating the humans and eventually to take over the universe. So this American guy figures out a way to disable the mother alien ship, disengage communication to her baby ships and then kill the aliens.

Did I mention Will Smith is awesome? He's got Great. Abs. In this movie.
I love the movies he’s in, for example, Shark’s Tale, Men in Black ( only the 1st one), Hitch, Enemy of the State, I LOVE watching Enemy of the State.

Right its, 3.30pm now, and I have nothing to do. I shall go find another DVD to watch and get on the elliptical machine and work my butt off. That way I won’t feel like a bum doing nothing but watching TV.

Today was a stay-at-home day for me and I was like totally zoned out at home.


I did some housework and stuff but other than that, I was like a walking zombie.


So I decided to watch a couple of movies. And I now declare that any movie starring Bruce Willis simply ROCKS. For example


(1) Tears of the Sun.






Willis plays a Navy SEAL Lieutenant A.K.Waters and brings his group of elite squadron of tactical Navy SEALs into the forests of Nigeria and must rescue an American doctor – played by Monica Belluci – who flat out refuses to go unless her 70 refugees can come along with her to Cameroon where they can start a new life.



So Waters and his men ( did I mention, hot men in uniform?) must decide if they should bring them along. If they leave them behind, the refugees will be left at the mercy of the ruthless military dictator who has taken over the country. If he brings them along, he will be defying the rules of engagement set by the strict Captain Rhodes, who orders them to remain disengaged from the conflict. So now Waters and his men must weigh the life of a group of refugees against the code of their duty and decide between the ethics of the work and humanity.




(2) Armageddon

First a meteorite slams into Shanghai and causes a tsunami and killing 50 000 people. So the Americans design a plan to plant a nuclear bomb under the asteroid’s surface so that it’ll split into 2, such that it will miss the Earth, after discovering an asteroid – the size of Texas – will collide with the Earth in 18 days.

So Harry Stamper – played by Willis – is located, who is the best oil driller and so he and his crew go through a regime that will prepare them for the rigours and demands of the job. The best part, is that Ben Affleck is in this movie! God he’s so darn gorgeous. Plus Liv Tyler, from the Lord of the Rings plays his lover, and Harry’s daughter. Sad and touching ending though, but this is one hell of a great movie.

(3) Live Free or Die Hard a.k.a Die Hard 4.0

NYPD officer John McClane – played by Willis – brings in a young hacker Farrell after a threat is made by a group of seasoned computer hackers to breach the security network of the nation and bring the States down on Independence Day. So Bruce and Farrell must now find their way into the hands of the hackers and stop them from destroying the infrastructure of America.

And. Maggie Q, the actress in Mission Impossible 3 is also in this movie. Darn, she's so gorgeous.

(4) Mecury Rising

A 9 year old autistic boy cracks the supposedly unbreakable code called MERCURY, developed by the NSA, and they ran a test to see if anyone could break the code by putting it into a jigsaw puzzle magazine. So in comes this boy with an affinity for breaking codes and tells the government that he deciphered the code. Now apparently this is a breach of nation security and the boy is to be gunned down along with his parents. So Art Jeffries – played by Willis – a run down FBI agent is sent to protect the boy from potential assassins.

Like I said. Bruce Willis is like awesome. The movies he act in totally rock. I also watched Runaway Jury, starring John Cusack and Rachel Weisz. Totally awesome movie about the underlying little secrets about the court of law, and how a lawyer will resort to unscrupulous means to buy his verdict .

Darn it I'm such a slacker. I'm wasting time at home watching movies and eating Milo cereal. I've been out many times last week.

I went to Arab Street, to Simei, to Paya Lebar and then back home on Saturday. I went to Simei to pick up my necklace that I spotted from a blogshop a week back. It was really pretty and handmade with intricate designs and twists and stuff. I also got some handmade earrings which I'll get this Sunday at AMK.

CANNOT WAIT.

And CANNOT WAIT to meet up with Jia Li. I think I last saw her at Chun Han's christmas party. That's 2 months ago.

Okay I need to plan what to do tomorrow. (1) REarrange the books on the shelf (2) Watch movie (3) Buy lunch and dinner (4) Bring Bobby for his walks

Yeah. Damn. My life sucks. I wanna learn jewellry making. And more dance.

WAIT. I have dance tomorrow! And I can use my black veil and my pink jingling hip scarf! HAHA THANK GOD.

So I went to Arab Street again today with Jess & Ting Hui. I was a little disappointed that the accessories that I wanted to get weren't in the colors that I wanted. But the scarf and veil I got a cheaper, so I guess it wasn't too much of a loss.

I intend to stay home for the next few days and not go anywhere, though I may need to get out to get my shampoo.

God, the holidays can get so boring sometimes.

Shall watch Minority Report in Channel 5 now. COLLIN FARRELL is simply smokin'.