My first soccer lesson was a complete amusement to me. Its probably no surprise that I am one of the only 2 girls in the male-dominated class. And its probably also no surprise that we are the only two people in class that have no soccer experience whatsoever.

The coach divided us into 4 teams, where 2 teams would play against each other and then we'd switch. Basically I did whatever the boys in my team told me to do. I must have been the only schmuck who was jumping up and down instead of actually running and running for the ball most of the time. I pity the boys in my team, but they were nice enough to actually humor me by letting me score an easy goal. When the ball came to me, I'd start screaming and trying to shuffle the ball, and one of my team members would stand in front of me and "clear" the way for me to get a good aim at the goal, and the opponent goalkeeper even stood out the way so I could score.

I have never felt so patronized in my entire life. I felt like a child. But I appreciated it all the same anyway.

Regardless, the idea of me taking Soccer seems a bit weird. I mean I like the practical aspect of it where we will go out to the field and do drills and then play matches, but the other components, such as knowing the rules and being tested on it sort of gives me the jitters.

I'm not sure where I'll go with this really, and I'm not entirely sure if I would want to take Soccer or take Leadership if I'm allocated it. All this is giving me a headache, coupled with me despairing about my non existent love life.

I think I'm destined to die a lonely spinster with my 10 cats, alone in a dusty cold mansion and sitting in my rocking chair in my nightgown and slippers.

That's because I'm un undesirable and unlovable woman. I'm sorry but I cannot for the life of anyone, attract a decent enough man. Of course I stick by my feminist principles, considering how I had argued about the depravity of classic Disney films and their portrayal of Disney princesses as weak-minded women who are unable to live their dreams unless a man comes by their side. But after all, I'd have to say that it would be nice to have someone to snuggle and whisper sweet nothings, knowing that he's thinking of me day and night and wondering where I am, or what I'm doing, or whether I'm flirting with another boy, or deciding where to take me out.

For as long as I can remember, I've stuck by friends who been through failed relationships and secret crushes, listening to them and giving advice where I can. But just once, I'd like to be on the other side, not because I want to have a failed relationship or anything, but because just once, I'd like to live in the knowledge that a guy out there is thinking of me.

Oh god this is too depressing. I'm going to eat.